Sunday, July 30, 2017

The Retreat

An intention spoken yet not heard from behind the pain of a vail of stone.
An intuition that saw the future before it was expressed and a heart boarded up.
Protected from any further humiliation, hurt, hatred.
My aura metaphysically transmutes into the densest matter as my edges darken.
A shadow casted from a ghost in a shell 
Only to realize it is all self created, self proclaimed, and self destructing.
A vision seen in an imagination responsible for it’s creation waiting to be experienced.
Waiting for just the right justification, the right moment and yet the right moment was not understood.
I want to retreat into my castle but I find myself already there and have been all this time.

Like the dreams dreamt they disappear as quickly as I awake from them.

Saturday, July 01, 2017

A Dream With Divinity

Aligning my crystals specifically in their place around me and my two smokey quartz under my pillow in its case I hear the Vedic healing mantra playing in the background and already I feel a certain level of lightness to my body.
I prepare myself for Kryiia with the breathing sessions opening my lungs fully and the Bastrika breathing.
I lay down on my bed with my hands at my side facing upward so as not to be interfered with any metal in my mattress and I begin my Kryiia.
Soooo… hummmm… sooooo… hummm… repeating 40 times in the slow stage then moving on to the medium speed at 20 times then the fast speed at 20 times. I repeat this cadence 3 times or at least I think I did. At some point everything fell away from my body. Everything material on this plane. I could still hear Ila breathing and the fan spinning around and around as well as the night creatures outside my window in the creek. I felt with it all and it all was with me then I was shot out and before I realized it happened, I was standing at the coast. Somewhere in the North coast or lost coast areas. Tall grass about knee high surrounded the narrow footpath of Earth beneath my feet. A path obviously traveled for centuries by hundreds of thousands of people. I knew them all and they all greeted me in their own time.
A gentle breeze tickled the tall grass as they danced with each other in the early morning hours playing with the scent of the ocean tide bringing in the daily life.
It was light out but just before the Sun rose becoming visible for the Gazing rituals of the natural, nature, life.
Then, I turned and you were there by my side with your hand held out asking for mine in silence.
I need not the Sun to gaze into for the light shining from you was everything and nothing all at once. Your hair was gold and your eyes sparkled from your own reflection of light. It was the most beautiful sight to bestow on any living creature let alone a mere human. At first I felt insignificant standing before you but you took my hand and nothing else mattered. Not my apprehension, anxiety, not my worries. Just my heart remained with you and in your hands. We walked side by side on the footpath of wisdom towards a small log cabin at the top of a berm overlooking the ocean. Several trees surrounded the cabin in a crescent shape. 13 trees in all I believe and the opening of the crescent shape faced due west. The cabin nestled in the center of the trees and the branches of one tree held hands with the tree next to it covering the cabin and the entirety of the sacred circle area.
The footpath twisted its way up the slight incline up the small hill leading right to a stone walkway up to the cabin. Each stone seemed to be placed just for our feet during each step. 
I looked up to the cabin and a tall stone chimney stretched upwards with an uncongested smoke signal sneaking out of it’s tip top.A light glow emitted from the two windows in the front on either side of the opened door and an easy red orange glow came from within.
The more I thought of how lovely the sight was, the longer it seemed the stone path was getting and the instant I knew I thought this, you were in my arms and I was carrying you through the doorway.
All awareness came to only the cabin and you and I right then. A low burning fire greeted us with a Raven and Dove resting on it’s mantle. The Raven looked up at me and smiled and I turned my head to look at you and you nosed my cheek playfully. 
There were two other windows on either side of us and two more on either side of the fireplace and all to be seen was the blackness of space and the shining stars lighting the cracks and spaces between the boards on the floor. 
The cabin was filled with books most in writing I couldn’t understand but there was one ready for us on an alpaca blanket which was laid out just in front of the hearth of the fireplace. The cover of the leather bound book simply read, Joyce. 
I gently laid you down on the side closest to the fire and snuggled behind you and wrapped the blanket over us as you opened the book by Joyce and began reading with an amazing Irish tongue. 
I looked up at the two feathered creatures and they too had snuggled next to each other. The Dove burying her head in the chest of the Raven and then they turned into an emerald stone sculpture. The light thrown from your golden shine thrown onto them and a brilliant sense of love filled the cabin.
As I became more aware of the moment, I noticed from draping my arm over your stomach that we were not clothed and don’t think we ever had been since we met on the footpath. 
You knew what I just remembered and place the book open face down and turned towards me placing your hand on my chest and looked deep into my eyes. Your gaze was so powerful, intense, and pure love. I couldn’t take my eyes off yours. I touched your lips with my finger just grazing over them and your eyes closed as your mouth slightly opened and you released a breath of anticipation.
The next frame of our scene was our lips meeting and tasting each other. The sweet taste between us of the same desire for each other. A sense of ones heart in with the other. 
Each fine long hair of the alpaca softly supported our delicate love as we met as one when time had no meaning, no sense, and no restraint.
The proof we all look for in life and in the eternal love and eternity shown herself to us specifically in this moment. For us to know each other in ways no other one could comprehend.
Exploring each others bodies and the depths of the other’s mind, healing the other’s soul.
Your soft hands gliding around my body as mine hold you close. 
Our tongues introduce our newly found selves once again and they dance together.
We intertwine in a dance of our own under the light of the divine blessed to express ourselves fully in no fear.
As I realize the lack of anything negative, fearful, sadness, you were gone. No longer on top of me and I open my eyes only to see nothing again except the familiar sight I’m used to. 
The Vedic mantra comes back into focus as does Ila snoring and the fan, the fan is now on high somehow and is rattling from side to side. I get up to turn it off and lay back down and wishfully fall asleep in your arms again.

A Memory Reborn

Released from a life of torment and pain I feel the tides have turned.
From an unknown misery hidden by my heart to help others.
Cleansed by the caring of another I was able to find my soul again that I never knew I had.
Complexities simplified instantaneously
Love fluid like an opened dam on a river no longer held back.
Captivating currents rushing over the rock bed with swirling tides carrying sediment to their final resting places.
Pebbles forming new shores and beaches birthing new life.
A constant that is ever changing on a path that has been delivered onto her.
A full moon reflecting their love off every grain of smokey quartz flickering in her light.
A cooling refreshment of spirit touches him as his thoughts calm into one.
A reminder to him of something once known but a distant memory reignited as the flame he once possessed.
A fire from the water and the stone from the sky.
Four become one, in unity back to the beginning.

Freed Thoughts

The thought of freeing my thoughts
A community joining together to send a beached whale back home
A bird Sun gazing before the morning feeding
A tree reoxyginating the air we breathe

I step into the day born smiling once again
Indifferent to the old way scorn from those who pretend
Songs of liberation protected from the world
Delicate touch of silk strong enough to support them

The thought of freed thoughts founded


A manifested imagination of love never before defined.
Defined in a way without concept or idealisms.
Idealisms falter by design 
Design by nature generating life.
Life living and loving respectively 
Respectively equal in balance.

Ones masculinity for another's femininity.
Both residing in the same heart provided by both of them.
A shared consciousness, a single consciousness.
What’s really to share when two provide instantaneous needs naturally.

No-thing derived from nothing giving way to something.
Something generates into the manifestation.
Manifestation determinate by an order.
Order of all, order of love.

Love is love like I am I or you are you.
Love is love like the rain is purifying or the ground re-energizes.
Love is love like the ocean sings or clouds cloud.

Meeting Of The Minds

I am grateful for the gifts received
I am thankful for the blessings retrieved
I am gracious for the thoughts conceived
I am filled of love from the memories bereaved

My love stands on the shore across the sea
She stands just out of sight from me
Our hearts peer into each others souls to plea
For a life unconsidered prior of thee

In one another’s arms our blood unites
Our arms hold each other from dusk til early morning light
Confessions confounding ones might
Together their love is proven right

Hearts divided came together 
Pain subsided and loved forever
The feel of their skin enchanting
As they wrap arms while dancing

Their minds rest in the company of peace 
My flesh on her flesh
My love on her love
Breath of one in synchronicity 

Our Experience

As I stand holding myself she intrudes in my protection
I didn’t even notice it happened
She melded with my heart so swiftly there was  no time for inspection
Am I waiting to wake up and ask myself what happened?


The thing everyone wants, everyone looks for, everyone would kill for.
The thing nobody has, nobody found, nobody lives.
The thing they are envious of, jealous of, hateful of and will take it from you.
The thing you just have or don’t. The thing you just know or don’t. The thing that pushes all to the edge and without faith, your leap won’t find love.


In a time of reconciliation and transformation.
In a time of rediscovery and transition.
Two reality’s meet on a destination of destiny.
A future no one saw, or did they.
Did it already happen and it’s the memory we live now or is the love the time itself.


In each others hearts
In each others minds
In each others souls
These spirits are two of a kind
God whisping the air with a hand of hope
God’s intention for them to meet was specifically designed


Too feel love again
To feel 
To feel pain again
To feel
To show love again
To show
To show pain again
To show

A storm always finishes at the darkness of nights calm put to bed by the morning Sun.


An infinite instances leading one foot after the other to an inevitable collision.
A butterfly flaps it’s wings and windows are boarded.
Light feeds the life of the living and the dead rest beneath them
We gaze in each others eyes lost in the Sun.

The Morning Dew

My mind wakens and I see her looking at me
My body stirs as she lays her hand on my chest
She smiles gently down at me as I open my heart up to her
Our electricity merge together to form its own magnetosphere

Impenetrable by the inconceivable
Infatuated by the innocent
Indecent to the incredulous
Institutionalization or enlightenmentalization

Their  diaphanous dialectic Deter the Damned
An explosion extrapolating from an exponential embrace
An erroneous armory of accolades from agnostics
A floundering philosophy feared by the filaments

The light outshines its starting point and the darkness out darkens its ending point only to come together as one, as none, begging to be distinguished

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Her Journey

A the rails to a far away land
She sits alone awaiting her flight
Flight from servitude, flight from the roller coaster.
Over vast expanse of water cleansing her heart.
Her mind ponders the depths of the sea and the limitless ceiling of the sky.
Will he keep the two pressures from crushing her?
Will he allow an exchange of heart, an exchange of love.
An unknown existence yet experienced for either of them.
The new land slowly approaches under her feet unsure whether or not to touch down on uncharted territory.
His arms and heart are open but will she embrace him.
He comes closer as she readies to land and she smiles to him.
Returning her smile he shows his heart without fear, without hesitation.
Will she jump into his arms forever leaving behind someone who was never.
Time stops as they touch and space empty’s of apprehension.
A verse they both share in unity, a universe.

The everlasting Dance

As the room spins my mind joins in
As her dress spins and swirls my eyes follow
My heart beats harder than the Bodhran and my stomach flutters faster than the spoons
A delicate jig we dance  as our lungs heave and pant

The room goes dark and everyone disappears except us
Our hands unite and our bodies become one
Slow in step to an ancient Celtic tune
Our hearts beat together in anticipation waiting for the last note of the pipes
An unspoken agreement of love to those of the wiser
A harmonious entangled melody plucked from Diedra’s soul
A tin whistle falls silent as the cages guards step away
They remain as one forever more 

mo ghrá bheith liom

For you I would crawl on broken limbs
Through broken brush and over broken trees
Cross broken bridges and seal up broken dams
Pluck you from the rushing creek of broken dreams
Patch and wrap your delicate broken wings
Carry your broken body up broken cliffs
Mending a broken heart from broken promises
Broken truths, broken love, deliver me this broken dove
From a broken life of a broken reality we mend each others broken insanity
A broken thought sealed with a broken kiss
A broken touch that is no longer missed

A whole heart for a whole soul
and a whole embrace for your whole love
My whole love for a whole embrace
And my whole soul for a whole heart

My whole life and my whole dream
Is as whole as my whole life with you
If whole is as whole can seem
Then it is no wonder I see my dream with you

An instant connection an instant ascension
Instant protection from worldly pretention
Material flesh that begs to rest
From the materials of ungodly tests

Such vows etched into my heart plead mercy with your love


Two immovable objects meet for the first time and cages collide as wits size each other up. Testing the thickness of the prison door bars. 
Contrasting conflicts and concerns dependent on the giving in of the others will and neither gives in.
Rather the cages merge slowly and the bars seamlessly mesh together.
Mind sets thrown back and forth absorbed equally and digested. They both smile secretly at each other wondering who saw it.
A meeting of the minds, two of a kind.
Determinate upon ones willingness to consciously submit without giving in.
Both wonder which will give first, whom will slip first. 
Simultaneous thoughts similar to the instant saturation of an emotion both have searched for but reluctantly gave up so long ago.
A fate that destiny couldn’t even propagate. 
A divine gift gifted to the patiently waited souls that imagine a dream seen since the dawn of time herself.

Sunday, June 18, 2017


three hearts, one of dark and two of light
The two feel right as they drown out the night
The dark night fades as the two hearts unite

A hearts desire and a hearts desire separated only by their internal fire

Floating under the stars on clouds of imagination
Brought together in time like universal creation

No distance is too far for the quantum entanglement of these two stars 

Frozen in time, thawed hearts twine, their oneness shines.


As you check your Instagram, Facebook, twitter, and email 
I’m the one providing reality at retail
If you’re looking for truth, I’ll provide the detail
If you’re looking for fear porn, that’s currently on sale
My words will hook you in like a black Friday sale
So long as you’re looking for me, I will never fail

You sit in front of your computer reading the Daily Mail
And a virus infects your brain like a a malicious chain  email
You s e i z e and c-c-c-convulse into spasms and you fall ROTFLOL
Your vision and bandwidth narrows as the hashtags overwhelm you like a ringing church bell bell bell.

LOL, OMG, BTW… hashtag apathy
Your left brain fights with the right in a battle of self controversy
And God wins out again with a great Divine Comedy
splitting your speech and flooding your world in tragedy

Your heart starts to race, 
your mind is out of place, 
your soul is out of pace, 
as you wipe the sweat from your face.

You frantically and manically think what to do so you press alt control delete
That didn’t work so you repeat, alt control delete alt control delete
Your brain freeeezzzeess and your hard drive stops spinning
Your efforts to comprehend are fruitless and the worm eats away at the c0re.

*user not found/bad sector discovered

Friday, June 16, 2017

What’s Instore

I should feel confused
I should be guarded
I should feel amused
I should be cautious
I should reel back
I should see otherwise


I could feel love
I could be real
I could feel truth
I could be loved
I could feel whole
I could be whole

I am

Whole Nestled
Safe Surrounded Freed
Starry Night Transmuted Light
Diaphanous Spoken Dialectic
Self Aware

Thursday, June 15, 2017

Wondering Thoughts Wandering

As I pronounce words with double meaning I wonder with my wandering thoughts.
Wondering if your back is turned as you lay asleep
Wondering if your last conscious thought was also wandering
Wandering around in my mind do you wonder about the under tones, the underlining unspoken word, the inevitable.
Gazing through my thoughts lost in the foggy dew
Do you do what it is that I do when I am with you
Do you wonder why I waunder when wondering about you
Is my mind like a like minded mind kind of like mine
Would it could it be in time that I find the meaning of the next line
Someone divided, someone united. Someone confounded, someone with saints surrounded.

The thought of freeing my thoughts
A community joining together to send a beached whale back home
A bird Sun gazing before the morning feeding
A tree reoxyginating the air we breathe

I step into the day born smiling once again
Indifferent to the old way scorn from those who pretend
Songs of liberation protected from the world
Delicate touch of silk strong enough to support them

The thought of freed thoughts founded

The Maiden

A light shines bright as the dark settles the night.
She lines the silk robe with a soft touch 
Her mind softens the incredulous and enlightens the ignorant
A smile divided by distance and a tune separated by octaves
A pipeline pumping the life-force of heart capsizing ships lost at sea

Souls washed ashore on an island made of trash. 

Thursday, May 11, 2017

The Attraction

A shadow in the distant horizon comes towards me and I squint to observe.
An orb tinted from the outside world with shaded colors of brilliance.
As this orb gets near I see shapes take form as my eyes adjust to the beauty contained within.
An inner orb of light emerges as the tint fades away
And I peer into the light.
A center orb emits a bright yellow white light that surrounds everything with in until it meets its canopy of shade.
Illuminating all as it touches lives and hearts.
From the center orb are two spiral cones of purple, green, and blue twisting to a single point on either side of the orb vertically.
A thin knowledge of soft gold separates each color like a division of time is softened by memories.
I am lost staring into this awefull beauty that captivates my mind and soul.
Images from the past and future make their quantum leaps from one side of my brain to the other.
Tingles of joy strike my fingertips and toes as I try to comprehend the sight standing before me then I go blind and see her smiling.

Friday, May 05, 2017

The predicament

Raised in a world that knows no boundaries
A world that knows no hate and no love at the same time.
Confounded and constrained, consumed and inflamed.
I adopt an idea, a reason, a belief.

Do no harm
and no harm shall come of thee

I practice it in my actions and my words yet I stumble upon a grey area.
An area that temps logic with heart, love.
Love for all and love for the unnamed, the hidden, the unknown.
A riddle constructed from a rubics cube.

Do no harm
and no harm shall come of thee

They would label it as complex or confusing.
An unexplainable feeling and thought to which the only confusing path is whether or not to take it.
An uncertain certainty, a simply complex concept.
A fearless fear.

Do no harm
and no harm shall come of thee

To resist speaking ones heart and mind for the sake of another
Is to save and protect all others
To be lost in ones mind locking away thoughts and emotions
Is to build your own sanitarium and keep the outside world from such honesty

Do no harm
and no harm shall come of thee

What is honesty anyway.
Who must believe it in order for it to be honest?
Lies frozen in ice thawed in time
For none such spoken shall be revealed 

Do no harm
And vengeful pain shall come of thee


The Unconscious Faith

I can make you weep and I can make you take a leap
I can make you love and I can make you hate
I will make you believe and I made you fear
I am what you read, I am what you need.

You’ve read my pages in vein and still you lost your soul
My words misunderstood with each passing turn of a page
and only complex questions remain.

Hast thou not read your purpose laid before thee?

Only freedom of mind can contain
You strike war against your brothers in rage
You buried alive your fathers love you stole

Art thou repentant?

I fell for you, I sacrificed for you
Like a bell ringing in time, like a mother giving her last life.
You saw not what you need to survive thus your time passes whilst you contrive

Hast thou understood thine?

You think you can force control, you think you are alive
You cause vengeance and anger, you cause jealousy and strife
You rape, you murder, you steal, you lie. What shall I do?

Fear not the furious anger beset onto you for the fear you beset onto others

I can make you weep and I can make you take a leap
I can make you love and I can make you hate
I will make you believe and I made you fear

I am what you read, I am what you need.

Wednesday, May 03, 2017

To MJ because you deserve as much

The Book 

I sit upon these shelves`` dusty and dreary 
Alongside old stories, mysteries, and fables.
I sit amongst these leather bound and paperbacks suffocating
My cover replaced and my spine undamaged but my pages, well my pages tell the tale.

My pages turned roughly a thousand times but a thousand more to come
They lay permanently dog eared and annotated from inspirations sought.
Only to be returned to the shelf below until the next reader comes along thirsting for the distraction, 
distraction from their own misery and haunting demons.

Thirsting for a reason, relation,  an escape.
More footnotes and foot prints left behind wearing me further away as my bones are dissected and analyzed.
Until every paragraph, until every line until every word has been looked at forwards backwards and upside down but the only thing found on their fine tooth comb is the fibers from which there very own pockets have woven.

Then, like so many times before, I'm placed back on the shelves, a little lower and now I sit below the populous, 
below the popular.
Why such fads should take up so much shelf space I dare not ask.
Is it to be my final resting place down here I dare not think.
My cover will grow stale and stick to preface from settling moisture in the air.
My pages will yellow and my bold black print will lose the battle with memories.

Few lookers have passed and paused at me. Fingering through my delicate pages skipping past the artwork looking for what I am not quite sure.
They place me back and dust themselves off then swiftly snatch up a newer bolder kind of love.

Then, just when I thought my placement on this shelf was worth no more than a magazine stand  someone stops at my index number and looks adoringly towards my dusty spine.

She picks me up and gently wipes away the dust and the slight moisture forming at the bottom of my embossed title.
She opens my cover with such delicacy and attention that I relax like never before.
My pages turn with a peaceful breeze singing along with my words.
So she stops herself from reading any further  as not to spoil the adventure , and packs me up carefully. 

When I awake, I find myself as if on display,  on display for the whole world to see.
See my restored pages and touched up ink like the first edition as it reads inside my cover.

She reads me every night and every night she wants the next chapter.
And the next chapter only comes too soon and she wants another, and another.
It would seem that the book she chose grows with her every day and every night.

Stories of adventure, tales of love, and manic mysteries to be solved by her.

Tuesday, May 02, 2017

The Agonia

I battle with my mind in the Agonia at Agon in pure agony as I slip into unconsciousness.
The tears of pain aspirate my pores and sting my cheeks.
Falling downward, no, perhaps upward into clouds of toxins laced with dreams of fright and incredulity.
A cognitive despair floods a flicker of light amongst the flames of whirling wisdom.
I sit up only to find myself laying down and I glance the mirror whose face shows not a smile in this reality but a frown.
A radiant wake of light storms through me from the stars 

The wake does not stop to ask why. 

Leaving a wake of unspeakable truths. A wake that’s awake and aware before I am able to convey such thoughts. My mind beats me to my tongue so it bites down suppressing the conception of an emotion that is to be raw as fresh flesh.

The wake saw me draw blood before I felt it in my mouth and still doesn’t ask why.

It circles my heart in my chest cavity as it beats and thumps against my ribs pushing blood outward begging to be freed filling my ears and head with a lucid inception of self. A dynamically stagnant dichotomy.

The wake sees the pain within and still doesn’t ask why.

I try and grasp this wake with all my might, all my mind, all my insight but the wake only throws me down, unaware of the damage left beneath it.
Emotions strewn about like limbs post war on a battlefield. 
Proclivities pierced by words not said, not thought, not felt like a cannibalistic porky Pine.

The wake has transmuted into a tidal wave and does not allow me to ask why.

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

The Fall of Love

The smile fades as your heart pumps the happiness out hard.
The pulsing spreads from your chest outward. Infecting your throat and stomach.
Buckling knees and swirling heads paves a path of vertigo unsympathetic.
You reach out to friends and family like a passenger on a sinking ship reaches for a life vest that has already been torn to shreds not replaced because you thought you would never be in this position again.
Life sustaining and life detaining, the water so dark covers you. Chilling and real it sets in that there is no one but yourself to save you.
And your legs grow weak, your arms tire, and your mind fogs. Numbing to the eventuality of the inevitable reality that once the darkness consumes all the light, your spark is lost forever.
To fall is easy. To raise up is what’s to be cherished and praised.
To overcome, come from behind, the underdog all speak to the truth.
The truth that there will always be the darkness trying to beat us and keep us down. Infesting us or our loved ones infecting them with their hatred for love only to sabotage what we built.

It’s so easy to fall.