Tuesday, September 04, 2018

Into the Darkness

What’s it like awakening to the darkness into the light?
A compulsory shock of impulsive fright.
From my mind to yours a passionate compassion,
A midnight terror dimmed from the candle light of the dark night before,
An imagination restricted by hopes of imaginary dreams.
Catastrophic tragedies naturally beset onto us,
Forevermore has never seemed as nevermore.
For those who never saw before, forevermore will they see nevermore,
To glance into the future to see what’s in store.
I see not a future held up by pillars of four,
A destiny that is futile, a fate that is lost all the while.
Foregone has the past passed and the future futuristically fluttered before our eyes
Dim shadows dance on the walls of a bright tunnel that fade away to an everlasting light swirling down a funnel.
Go now for the smoldering wick has all but extinguished from a spark.
Divinely speaking words incomprehensible.
Tangible only by those with a grasp of knowledge from wisdom.
As altered as the state of consciousness we breed.
An unseen pattern that recognizes us before we them,
Sporadically we glimpse it now and then.
Comforted by repetition and consistency,
We play our game with proficiency.
No longer considering proclivities as theory,

We break the cycle of spontaneity with inevitability.

Her Cause and Effect

As the Sun rises and the days future is in my gaze
The words float in the air before my face
A structure of beauty forms from thoughts seen within
Blinded by the light of her smile as the words fall into place
Every character is a moment and each moment fills time and space
The Sun’s rays carve pathways through clouds 
Like her smile etches into my heart
Like her heart etches into my mind

Time and space vanish from our reality as the dawn awakes from the dark 

As future becomes present and the present fades away.

Fresh From The Depths

The early morning darkness is awakened
As the midnight demons are forsaken

Sun rays steam across a frozen lake 
Carving it’s light into an icy soul
Spirits dance with the rising fog they make
Coming together as one conscious that is whole

My words so often mistaken

My third eye has awakened

Neglect

I hear you speaking but not to me
I hear you laugh but not to me
I hear you cuddle but not with me
A new unspoken deep love fighting to break out from my heart
I wonder is it the same for you?
Do you no longer think about me as much as I think about you?
Even just a short five minutes of us brightens my day with hope and love
An intimate frustration building up to madness
A passing by kiss or hug leaves feelings of confusion
Is it hidden or is it to be safe?
Am I just hurting from my own thoughts of what is neglect and is it my own neglect I’m creating
Am I craving attention I don’t deserve or am I craving too much from a love that is more pure than any thought I’ve ever had?
Is it too much now to ask for?
Is it too much too pray for?

It must be my own neglect, It must be my self torture.

It must be my own. 

Wednesday, August 29, 2018

Distant Devotion

The stream roars along at the break of Spring
Coldness melted with warmth of rays
Ice broken away from their stubborn stance
Freezing currents carries the ice, only to  shatter them on the rocks
Panic Not.
Alone in my ore-less raft I plunge my hand into the chilled water
Reaching deep down to salvage a sunken thought
I pull up a frozen stone shaped like my mind
Catastrophic futures if thawed 
Panic Not.
I hold the frozen stone in my hands adoring it’s complexity
I see the ice frozen deep in each pore glistening with hope
Begging to be set free unbound from its chains
Destroyer of time to come
Panic Not.
As the ice melts the glisten darkens to a doom
Spreading over my hand and onto the raft.
It encompasses everything and no thing completely
Lacking remorse as its appetite consumes its entire path
Panic Not.
A destiny for-told, a fate oft fought 
I seize at its power consuming and devouring 
Clouds swirling above blackening   into space
Starlight vanishes like the glimmer in my eye
Panic Not.
Lady Luna hides from the oncoming tragedy 
Her craters soften and retract from being exposed.
She closes her eyes in pain
She holds her breath in the same
Panic Not.
Ice cold sweat pours down from every hair mocking the tears
My raft begins to deflate as the air freezes.
My toes begin to numb as the stream slowly takes over.
Millions of Frozen icepicks stabbing at my legs
Panic Not.
The streams hunger surrounds my waist  as the will to sleep overwhelms my mind
Pease and calm eases my inner fight as the night clouds my judgement
My lungs slow as they harden and still from the cold
My muscles spasm into oblivion as the darkness fills my chest 
Panic Not.
To swallow is more complicated than thinking
My hair freezes on end as the mercky water blends with the last breaths 
Vision is lost and the cold becomes warm with numbness
I sink farther as my raft entombs me and lays me to my grave
Panic Not.
A hand touches my shoulder  and caresses my neck
A soft gentle touch shines through the ice that has sealed my fate
A restoring warmth flows through my body as the air crushes my casket to free me
Water drips down my face once again.
Panic Not.
Sun rays tickle my cheeks as Lady Luna smiles upon my soul.
The numbness flows down and away from my limbs and soul.
Her arms embrace me filling me with life of breath once again
My tragic history melts into hopeful glory

Panic.

Infinite Dispare

Like the moment in the quickness of an incoming monsoon or typhoon
Like the onset of the night trailing dusk
Like the beaches being pulled away into the depths of the sea
The feeling of loneliness is as deep as the love we give.
Sleeveless tattooed arms of hearts
A love expressed but never truly accepted.
Stone walls built by giants, giants that roam my soul and heart.
Their footsteps echo throughout my cavernous body like a hollow cave dwelling long since abandoned.
Like a high pitched frequency ringing in the top left back quadrant of your skull
Like the aching twinging pain deep down in your naval

Like the hole in your heart thinking its the bottomless pit

Sunday, July 30, 2017

The Retreat

An intention spoken yet not heard from behind the pain of a vail of stone.
An intuition that saw the future before it was expressed and a heart boarded up.
Protected from any further humiliation, hurt, hatred.
My aura metaphysically transmutes into the densest matter as my edges darken.
A shadow casted from a ghost in a shell 
Only to realize it is all self created, self proclaimed, and self destructing.
A vision seen in an imagination responsible for it’s creation waiting to be experienced.
Waiting for just the right justification, the right moment and yet the right moment was not understood.
I want to retreat into my castle but I find myself already there and have been all this time.

Like the dreams dreamt they disappear as quickly as I awake from them.

Saturday, July 01, 2017

A Dream With Divinity


Aligning my crystals specifically in their place around me and my two smokey quartz under my pillow in its case I hear the Vedic healing mantra playing in the background and already I feel a certain level of lightness to my body.
I prepare myself for Kryiia with the breathing sessions opening my lungs fully and the Bastrika breathing.
I lay down on my bed with my hands at my side facing upward so as not to be interfered with any metal in my mattress and I begin my Kryiia.
Soooo… hummmm… sooooo… hummm… repeating 40 times in the slow stage then moving on to the medium speed at 20 times then the fast speed at 20 times. I repeat this cadence 3 times or at least I think I did. At some point everything fell away from my body. Everything material on this plane. I could still hear Ila breathing and the fan spinning around and around as well as the night creatures outside my window in the creek. I felt with it all and it all was with me then I was shot out and before I realized it happened, I was standing at the coast. Somewhere in the North coast or lost coast areas. Tall grass about knee high surrounded the narrow footpath of Earth beneath my feet. A path obviously traveled for centuries by hundreds of thousands of people. I knew them all and they all greeted me in their own time.
A gentle breeze tickled the tall grass as they danced with each other in the early morning hours playing with the scent of the ocean tide bringing in the daily life.
It was light out but just before the Sun rose becoming visible for the Gazing rituals of the natural, nature, life.
Then, I turned and you were there by my side with your hand held out asking for mine in silence.
I need not the Sun to gaze into for the light shining from you was everything and nothing all at once. Your hair was gold and your eyes sparkled from your own reflection of light. It was the most beautiful sight to bestow on any living creature let alone a mere human. At first I felt insignificant standing before you but you took my hand and nothing else mattered. Not my apprehension, anxiety, not my worries. Just my heart remained with you and in your hands. We walked side by side on the footpath of wisdom towards a small log cabin at the top of a berm overlooking the ocean. Several trees surrounded the cabin in a crescent shape. 13 trees in all I believe and the opening of the crescent shape faced due west. The cabin nestled in the center of the trees and the branches of one tree held hands with the tree next to it covering the cabin and the entirety of the sacred circle area.
The footpath twisted its way up the slight incline up the small hill leading right to a stone walkway up to the cabin. Each stone seemed to be placed just for our feet during each step. 
I looked up to the cabin and a tall stone chimney stretched upwards with an uncongested smoke signal sneaking out of it’s tip top.A light glow emitted from the two windows in the front on either side of the opened door and an easy red orange glow came from within.
The more I thought of how lovely the sight was, the longer it seemed the stone path was getting and the instant I knew I thought this, you were in my arms and I was carrying you through the doorway.
All awareness came to only the cabin and you and I right then. A low burning fire greeted us with a Raven and Dove resting on it’s mantle. The Raven looked up at me and smiled and I turned my head to look at you and you nosed my cheek playfully. 
There were two other windows on either side of us and two more on either side of the fireplace and all to be seen was the blackness of space and the shining stars lighting the cracks and spaces between the boards on the floor. 
The cabin was filled with books most in writing I couldn’t understand but there was one ready for us on an alpaca blanket which was laid out just in front of the hearth of the fireplace. The cover of the leather bound book simply read, Joyce. 
I gently laid you down on the side closest to the fire and snuggled behind you and wrapped the blanket over us as you opened the book by Joyce and began reading with an amazing Irish tongue. 
I looked up at the two feathered creatures and they too had snuggled next to each other. The Dove burying her head in the chest of the Raven and then they turned into an emerald stone sculpture. The light thrown from your golden shine thrown onto them and a brilliant sense of love filled the cabin.
As I became more aware of the moment, I noticed from draping my arm over your stomach that we were not clothed and don’t think we ever had been since we met on the footpath. 
You knew what I just remembered and place the book open face down and turned towards me placing your hand on my chest and looked deep into my eyes. Your gaze was so powerful, intense, and pure love. I couldn’t take my eyes off yours. I touched your lips with my finger just grazing over them and your eyes closed as your mouth slightly opened and you released a breath of anticipation.
The next frame of our scene was our lips meeting and tasting each other. The sweet taste between us of the same desire for each other. A sense of ones heart in with the other. 
Each fine long hair of the alpaca softly supported our delicate love as we met as one when time had no meaning, no sense, and no restraint.
The proof we all look for in life and in the eternal love and eternity shown herself to us specifically in this moment. For us to know each other in ways no other one could comprehend.
Exploring each others bodies and the depths of the other’s mind, healing the other’s soul.
Your soft hands gliding around my body as mine hold you close. 
Our tongues introduce our newly found selves once again and they dance together.
We intertwine in a dance of our own under the light of the divine blessed to express ourselves fully in no fear.
As I realize the lack of anything negative, fearful, sadness, you were gone. No longer on top of me and I open my eyes only to see nothing again except the familiar sight I’m used to. 
The Vedic mantra comes back into focus as does Ila snoring and the fan, the fan is now on high somehow and is rattling from side to side. I get up to turn it off and lay back down and wishfully fall asleep in your arms again.

A Memory Reborn

Released from a life of torment and pain I feel the tides have turned.
From an unknown misery hidden by my heart to help others.
Cleansed by the caring of another I was able to find my soul again that I never knew I had.
Complexities simplified instantaneously
Love fluid like an opened dam on a river no longer held back.
Captivating currents rushing over the rock bed with swirling tides carrying sediment to their final resting places.
Pebbles forming new shores and beaches birthing new life.
A constant that is ever changing on a path that has been delivered onto her.
A full moon reflecting their love off every grain of smokey quartz flickering in her light.
A cooling refreshment of spirit touches him as his thoughts calm into one.
A reminder to him of something once known but a distant memory reignited as the flame he once possessed.
A fire from the water and the stone from the sky.
Four become one, in unity back to the beginning.


Freed Thoughts

The thought of freeing my thoughts
Like 
A community joining together to send a beached whale back home
A bird Sun gazing before the morning feeding
A tree reoxyginating the air we breathe

I step into the day born smiling once again
Indifferent to the old way scorn from those who pretend
Songs of liberation protected from the world
Delicate touch of silk strong enough to support them

The thought of freed thoughts founded

Is

A manifested imagination of love never before defined.
Defined in a way without concept or idealisms.
Idealisms falter by design 
Design by nature generating life.
Life living and loving respectively 
Respectively equal in balance.

Ones masculinity for another's femininity.
Both residing in the same heart provided by both of them.
A shared consciousness, a single consciousness.
What’s really to share when two provide instantaneous needs naturally.

No-thing derived from nothing giving way to something.
Something generates into the manifestation.
Manifestation determinate by an order.
Order of all, order of love.

Love is love like I am I or you are you.
Love is love like the rain is purifying or the ground re-energizes.
Love is love like the ocean sings or clouds cloud.

Meeting Of The Minds

I am grateful for the gifts received
I am thankful for the blessings retrieved
I am gracious for the thoughts conceived
I am filled of love from the memories bereaved

My love stands on the shore across the sea
She stands just out of sight from me
Our hearts peer into each others souls to plea
For a life unconsidered prior of thee

In one another’s arms our blood unites
Our arms hold each other from dusk til early morning light
Confessions confounding ones might
Together their love is proven right

Hearts divided came together 
Pain subsided and loved forever
The feel of their skin enchanting
As they wrap arms while dancing

Their minds rest in the company of peace 
My flesh on her flesh
My love on her love
Breath of one in synchronicity 

Our Experience

Who
As I stand holding myself she intrudes in my protection
I didn’t even notice it happened
She melded with my heart so swiftly there was  no time for inspection
Am I waiting to wake up and ask myself what happened?

What

The thing everyone wants, everyone looks for, everyone would kill for.
The thing nobody has, nobody found, nobody lives.
The thing they are envious of, jealous of, hateful of and will take it from you.
The thing you just have or don’t. The thing you just know or don’t. The thing that pushes all to the edge and without faith, your leap won’t find love.

When

In a time of reconciliation and transformation.
In a time of rediscovery and transition.
Two reality’s meet on a destination of destiny.
A future no one saw, or did they.
Did it already happen and it’s the memory we live now or is the love the time itself.

Where

In each others hearts
In each others minds
In each others souls
These spirits are two of a kind
God whisping the air with a hand of hope
God’s intention for them to meet was specifically designed

Why

Too feel love again
To feel 
To feel pain again
To feel
To show love again
To show
To show pain again
To show

A storm always finishes at the darkness of nights calm put to bed by the morning Sun.

How

An infinite instances leading one foot after the other to an inevitable collision.
A butterfly flaps it’s wings and windows are boarded.
Light feeds the life of the living and the dead rest beneath them
We gaze in each others eyes lost in the Sun.

The Morning Dew

My mind wakens and I see her looking at me
My body stirs as she lays her hand on my chest
She smiles gently down at me as I open my heart up to her
Our electricity merge together to form its own magnetosphere

Impenetrable by the inconceivable
Infatuated by the innocent
Indecent to the incredulous
Institutionalization or enlightenmentalization

Their  diaphanous dialectic Deter the Damned
An explosion extrapolating from an exponential embrace
An erroneous armory of accolades from agnostics
A floundering philosophy feared by the filaments

The light outshines its starting point and the darkness out darkens its ending point only to come together as one, as none, begging to be distinguished