Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Window Pain

Window Pain

A drizzling rain masks my cheek covered tears of pain.
This pain looks out on myself through cracked window panes.
Blame grew fast never missed, how did it ever come to this, its so insane.
I want to tear down this house but where do I start.
I pick up the brick that ripped my life apart
Throw it at the house at the window the window falls apart.

Shattering my own vision of my past self where's the beauty now 
Tattering skin with ink of memories, who's gunna hold your hand now?
In front of an unconditionally conditioned house.
This emotionally broken home, this mental home I grew up in alone.
No salvation I could see in the foundation that I saw
Teetering on life waiting to jump off

Broken doors broken windows broken floors
Falling down broken stairs she said she'd be there for
Through a broken door she said she'd push me through
But its my own two feet I stand on
Can anyone see what it is I need to lean on
They said they'd never leave me  they said they'd never run away
So use to it now its me that's afraid to stay.

But its ok now I'm moving on now
Gotta open my heart to whoever she may be 

Walk down the driveway all by my lonesome 
tryin to leave behind this broken home
I look up from the driveway and see the rainbow
Am I the pot of gold at her feet that melts this snow
A large coffee four splenda to go
Or perhaps a chocolate latte as she fights for me I know
A complex hug from the gateway of Yosemite that's so far away

Rain soaked clothes its hard to hold my head up
Looking at myself leaving through a stained peep hole
Gotta dry myself off because this rain is taking a toll
Sometimes my own shoes are too big to fill 
how could I ever live up to this role.

I look back at the broken window glass looking at my own ass 
I wonder how did I ever make it how did I ever last
But I look back now at myself looking forward in time 
I know I'll be doing just fine
She reads into me wants to be with me but it all frightens me
I stay awake I play it ok so I start to run away

Retreat in my mind only to defeat
Release of my mind that I tend to repeat
In a set of arms there for me not to harm
So tortured and tormented I gotta stay armed
Forces stand by my side as I try to keep in stride
In a world so cold so alone only my heart will know
To another place a darker side I seem to go

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