Window Pain

Window Pain

A drizzling rain masks my cheek covered tears of pain.

This pain looks out on myself through cracked window panes.

Blame grew fast never missed, how did it ever come to this, its so insane.

I want to tear down this house but where do I start.

I pick up the brick that ripped my life apart

Throw it at the house at the window the window falls apart.

Shattering my own vision of my past self where's the beauty now 

Tattering skin with ink of memories, who's gunna hold your hand now?

In front of an unconditionally conditioned house.

This emotionally broken home, this mental home I grew up in alone.

No salvation I could see in the foundation that I saw

Teetering on life waiting to jump off

Broken doors broken windows broken floors

Falling down broken stairs she said she'd be there for

Through a broken door she said she'd push me through

But its my own two feet I stand on

Can anyone see what it is I need to lean on

They said they'd never leave me  they said they'd never run away

So use to it now its me that's afraid to stay.

But its ok now I'm moving on now

Gotta open my heart to whoever she may be 

Walk down the driveway all by my lonesome 

tryin to leave behind this broken home

I look up from the driveway and see the rainbow

Am I the pot of gold at her feet that melts this snow

A large coffee four splenda to go

Or perhaps a chocolate latte as she fights for me I know

A complex hug from the gateway of Yosemite that's so far away

Rain soaked clothes its hard to hold my head up

Looking at myself leaving through a stained peep hole

Gotta dry myself off because this rain is taking a toll

Sometimes my own shoes are too big to fill 

how could I ever live up to this role.

I look back at the broken window glass looking at my own ass 

I wonder how did I ever make it how did I ever last

But I look back now at myself looking forward in time 

I know I'll be doing just fine

She reads into me wants to be with me but it all frightens me

I stay awake I play it ok so I start to run away

Retreat in my mind only to defeat

Release of my mind that I tend to repeat

In a set of arms there for me not to harm

So tortured and tormented I gotta stay armed

Forces stand by my side as I try to keep in stride

In a world so cold so alone only my heart will know

To another place a darker side I seem to go